Thursday, July 02, 2009

OMFG - New Post Next Week!

This blog is so lame. It's so never updated and Jordan so sucks.

I will be updating the blog next week. I have a cookie plan.

In the meantime I am MOVING and that is taking up a lot of time. That is an excuse and doesn't cover the past few months -- but it does explain the surrounding weeks.

I can't promise updates often but THIS BLOG IS NOT DEAD. NEW POST NEXT WEEK!


-Jordan

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A Big Fat Hairy Plug

Hey there, friends!

This is a post to tell you that I have started a 2nd blog, called "Mp3 of the Week."  Located here:


I like to fancy myself a songwriter and all around music-maker.  I have many, many, many songs as well as hundreds of (fun!) instrumentals and random noodlings.  I will be posting mp3s I have made throughout the years (as well as new stuff) every single week.  This used to be on my music website, but now in blog form I can have a massive archive building up.  Scary, and exciting.

The cookie posts aren't stopping any time soon!  Don't worry!


-Jordan

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Lenny's

Hello best friends!

This week's cookie was purchased and eaten at Lenny's on 9th avenue and 43rd street. It was recommended by some coworkers. I met my friend Matt Koff there and we HAD AT IT!

Lenny's is across from Westway Diner, the diner I take my lunch break at about once a week. Westway is special because they have Oreo Cookie milkshake, as well as a Caramel shake and a hazelnut shake! Wow!!




Matt showed up and tried to avoid the camera, but I got him!




First we had a very quick pizza slice at Lazara's Pizza right next door. It was ridiculously expensive for a tiny, tiny slice and it tasted average. It WAS good, but so expensive that it left a bitter taste in my bitter mouth.

Here is Matt eating, then reflecting.





Anyway, on to Lenny's! Here is it's funny little logo! It looks like that cartoon chef is expecting a tip with his other hand!




Three cookies left OHGODWEALMOSTDIDN'TMAKEIT!!!



I checked the freezers for some milk to buy, but they only had MUSCLE MILK (what is that stuff?) and chocolate milk. The idea of drinking chocolate milk with a cookie to me is absolutely absurd, and after laughing myself half to death, I regained composure and went to a next door grocery to look for some milk to sneak in to Lenny's. All they had was very expensive (again!) tiny tiny juice box of milk. It was about as much money as a whole quart of another brand of milk! But I'm not taking an open quart of milk onto the train ride home. That would look silly.




It said to shake (why? I don't recall ever shaking milk before.) SO I DID. And YOU get to see it, you lucky, lucky people.





Shake shake shake! Shake shake shake! Shake your milky!

Or: Now THAT'S what I call a MILKSHAKE! Hahahahahaha!

Matt had an amazingly difficult time ordering a black and white cookie. His delicate sensibilties wouldn't allow a cookie that had some "shmutz" on it (I believe it can be spotted in the picture above, and god bless those of you scrolling up to check right now!), but the cute blonde asian girl who didn't speak much english didn't understand how he wanted a black and white cookie, but not THAT black and white cookie. She would grab the cookie, then Matt would say no, so she'd put it down, then Matt would say he DOES want a cookie, and confusion ensued.






I bit the vanilla side.




Hm. It smells a little strange.  The vanilla did not have a glaringly huge flavor.  The cake overpowered it, especially with it's strange strange texture.  It was oddly soft, like a thick sponge.  It felt like it was inflating inside your mouth after every chew.  That sounds kind of pleasureable - but it threw me off.  It felt weird.  

Next I bit Mr. Chocolate.





It was pretty good.  Me and Matt both agreed it almost tasted like an Entenmanns chocolate donut.  I asked Matt if he smelled something strange, and he responded saying he was "smell deaf."  This made me laugh!  And it still does.






Despite my minor complaints, it WAS a good cookie.  Not the best, but I ate it pretty fast.  Then drank some weird tasting milk.  Matt stared off into the distance, like the painting behind him.





And me?  Had to wipe some weird milk off of my face.



See you next time, folks!


-Jordan

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Starbucks/Traditional Favorites

...


...



GOTCHA!! Sorry, didn't mean to sneak up on ya. Actually, yes I did.
Today's Black and White cookie was purchased at Starbucks, in Flushing, Queens. The label reads:

TRADITIONAL FAVORITES. Black & White Mini Cookies. A New York City Favorite! (SKU 408785. $1.95.)


I was in a Starbucks because I was on a DATE. I took no photo of the date, who I will never see again. But Google Image finds this photo of two cute girls in a Starbucks:





Hiya pretty gals! DO YA LIKE COOKIES?

I've been meaning to review a Starbucks cookie for quite some time. Not just for the guaranteed Google search hits (starbucks starbucks starbucks starbucks starbucks), but I felt it's time my blog got into some relevant issues regarding
commercialism and corporate monopolies.

The cookies were tasty! :D :D :D

The back of the label says, pretty randomly over the ingredients section, "Pairs well with Sumatra."

A CLUE. Time to wikipedia "sumatra."

Sumatra (also spelled Sumatera) is an island in western Indonesia, westernmost of the Sunda Islands. It is the largest island entirely in Indonesia (two larger islands, Borneo and New Guinea, are partially in Indonesia), and the sixth largest island in the world (approximately 470,000 km²)


Alright. I'll have to buy these cookies, then head over to Sumatra to find out if they do indeed pair well with each other.




AHAH. It also says "Manufactured for Starbucks Coffee Company." So for all intents and purposes, these are "Starbucks" brand (I wasn't sure about that)!


I think you guys should join me for this one. Go to the nearest Starbucks in your area, buy the
cookies, then sit down with me.


Nice to meet you. Are you OK? Good! Is this awkward? I can move over a bit if you want, I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

First we unwrap the cookie (together.)






Then we bite the vanilla side (with each other.)



What did you think? I thought it was not a HUGE sugary strong vanilla taste, but it was very pleasant. It could have been a little more vanilla-y, but I was happy. Were you happy? Are we doing O.K.?


Then we bite the chocolate side (side by side.)




Ok sorry, that is just a badly photographed cookie.

Thoughts? If you want to know what I thought, it was very soft, chewy. It tasted almost like a brownie. Like fudge. I can see from the expression on your face that you agree! You've got something on your face, let me get that.


I ate the 2nd cookie in about one bite!! I should have bought more, this was not nearly enough.




Now let's watch The Short Films of David Lynch together and go to sleep! I prefer to be the little spoon but we can compromise.




::kiss::



teehee!



-Jordan, 2009 edition.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Apologies, and Promisees

To my several billion loyal readers:

I very much apologize for not updating this blog as much as I, or you would like. I truly want to, but the truth is, I am very, very lazy. I am lazy, and stupid. I am lazy, stupid, and indifferent, and maybe not as hungry. My early-to-bed, early-to-rise work schedule kills my junk food appetite that I had when I first started.

Picture this: I go into a store. I see they have a Black and White Cookie brand I have yet to review. I buy it. It sits in my kitchen FOR WEEKS. I want to eat it, but I think "Ugh...I can't JUST EAT IT. I have to do WORK
when I eat it."

I have a garbage full of stale Black and White Cookies. This is unacceptable, and maybe borderline psychosis.

I feel a bit inspired lately (I was re-reading some old posts. Ah, I was so young!) and I promise you I will update this more often! This blog is the closest thing I have to a successful project, as my music and film careers float like ghos
ts through an oblivious world. T

hank you, and goodnight. It is 4 AM.
Check back soon, and I love you deeply. DEEP deeply.




-Jordan Adam Cooper, 2008.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

CAKE TIME!!!

IT'S A BLACK AND WHITE CAKE!

I went to the SUPERMARKET as my friend's Adam and Jon went food shopping for their apartment! THAT'S LIFE IN THE BIG CITY, FOLKS!

Then we stumbled upon this little number!




GIMME GIMME GIMME.



It rained like a motherfucker while we were in the supermarket. We ran back and I got drenched. So I changed into my friends clothes. Check out my dignified attire:



You know I never liked Ninja Turtles? Especially as a little kid. I hated the way they talked - "Radical!" "Narly!", etc. Even as like a 10 year old I thought they sounded retarded

This is Adam! Adam Rosenberg! Take that, google searchers trying to stalk him!








I guess the only way to cut pieces (besides grabbing clumps with my disgusting veiny hand) where you get both sides is to do weird long thin biscotti-looking slivers. So there you go.



I ate the cake. Honestly, it was just "OK." I could have predicted it wouldn't exactly taste like a black and white cookie, which is ironic since a black and white cookie is really more like a cake. But this cake was just like...an OK, store bought cake. Also when we actually ate it was like 2 or 3 weeks later. WOOPS. I wasn't crazy about either the vanilla or chocolate icing. They weren't bad but after a few bites I was pretty much done. P.S. I hate blogger and how it keeps undoing my font selection every other sentence.



I also wasn't crazy about eating cake with a spoon. Too weird.



Wearing a much more dignified shirt (Homer Simpson jumping to grab a donut, with "JUST DONUT" written on the bottom.)


-Jordan

Sunday, May 11, 2008

La Dolce Italia 2

Last winter......


BA BUMP




In the small town of Forest Hills...



BA BA BUMP



At a store called La Dolce Italia...



CRA-KOWWWW (lightning)



A young man by the...


BA BA BA BA BA BUMP!!



...name of Jordan Cooper went on a quest



BABABABABABABABABSBDBDHDBDBDHD BUMP




For the ultimate Black and White Cookie.



FLASH




SILENCE.......


.......



Now, out of the ashes arrives...


LA DOLCE ITALIA 2!!!





STARRING








Not long ago, La Dolce Italia 2 opened up literally right around the corner from me, here in Kew Gardens. It appeared in a pretty badly received "death spot" -- businesses seem to open up and close down there within a few months. I can't even recall how many different stores, cafes, groceries, etc, have been in that very location.

Best of luck to La Dolce Italia 2 however, because this is ONE sequel that's just as good as the original!!!!! YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN??


I brought the cookie home for an unusually timed snack, around 7pm where dinner normally takes place (I ended up not being hungry for dinner till around 11:00 pm.)

Compared to the original La Dolce Italia, this cookie was a LOT smaller. Meaning it was about average size, since the first Dolce cookie was humongous. "Humongous" is a word I haven't heard or spoken in a long time, what happened to that word???

One thing I noticed early on is that the chocolate icing was PITCH BLACKNESS. A little intimidating. Like the woods at night. Do I dare enter?




I also noticed right away from removing the cookie out of it's little paper wrap that the icing was STICKY AND GOOEY AND FRESH. No rock hard icing that feels like it was drilled onto the cake by a construction crew. This actually felt like it was spread over the cake like...icing!

I took a bite of the vanilla.





VERY good and very flavorful. I did not recall upon looking back that in my original La Dolce post, I complained about the lemony cake overpowering the vanilla to the point that I couldn't even taste it. While the lemon is indeed still very strong, this time I could taste the vanilla loud and clear, and with how soft and delicious it was, I could have eaten 20 all-vanilla cookies.

Then I tried the chocolate.




Pretty much equally as good. Extremely soft, tasted almost like chocolate cupcake icing. The lemon in the cake was almost a bit too strong and creating a weird battle of tastes, but overall it was one of the most satisfying (cookie related) experiences I've had yet.



I finished the rest of the cookie EXTREMELY fast. I should have bought two.

See you again when La Dolce Italia 3 comes out. Hopefully it won't be awful and ruin the franchise!!



-Jordan

Sidenote: There was a lot of plastic forks and spoons on the sidewalk. Why?