Thursday, September 27, 2007

Amici 519 8th Avenue

A new day job, and about a ton of new grocery stores, delis, bakeries around where I work to look for Black and White Cookies. On the way to the subway, I stopped into RANDOM DELI-BAKERY-GROCERY-STORE-PLACE-THAT-ALSO-HAS-PIZZA (there's like 100 of them around their) called "Amici" and saw a "brand" (?) of Black and White Cookies. Just shrinkwrapped with a price label on it.




I wonder where these come from? I've always had this sinking feeling that I am unknowingly
reviewing the exact same black and white cookies (when they aren't brand names), like they all pretty much come from the same place.

So I bought this nameless cookie and managed to find time during the week (which is very difficult now) to eat it.


I thought it would be fun to take a tour of my journey to eating cookies!!!!!

First I am sitting in my chair in front of my computer. I get hungry and realize I'm not eating cookies at the moment. Something must be done!

So I go towards my door! So the door hasn't been touched since I was 12 or so. That's a Radioactive Man Meets Bartman poster, with bird poop all over it (my bird sits on top of the door all the time), and also Beavis and Butt-head stickets and Halloween cartoon stickers, an Addams Family bumper sticker, Superman, Batman, Ghost Rider, and Wolverine stickers. On the other side is a Kids in the Hall Braincandy poster, a They Might Be Giants sticker, 2 props from one of my student films (the fake dollar bill and the Knife Job Application), and a penny I scotchtaped to my wall for reasons that are only my own.





Look down the stairs! Inviting? Hey I like this picture.





This leads to the LIVING room. You can see a big comfy chair, and a big comfy TV.




Then I look in the mirror and hate myself. NEXT.



I walk through the dining room to...




THE KITCHEN. Source of both pain and pleasures.


The refridgerizer is opened so I can get some milk. Next to milk is whip cream. Hopefully I won't be too tired and mix up which one I take.




Then I take a glass. Shit, they're all upside down. How am I gonna pour the milk in?




Then I go through the "junk" drawer and take some Oreos and Pretzel Fish, because eating a giant chocolate and vanilla cookie isn't satisfying enough for a disgusting diarrhea factory like myself.



Then I look at myself again and feel sad.



OK so I finally sit down, and I bite the cookie.



Oh my god. I'm not gonna lie, I have 5 different sets of notes from cookies I've eaten for this blog, and I don't remember which one is this cookie. I feel like a slob. This was eaten a week ago. I'm
such a fucking moron.

Ok, I think I found the right piece of paper (i write these notes on scraps of paper) on my floor. Ah, yes, this is the one.

Vanilla -- it tasted weird. Kind of like a butter cookie. Very very buttery and different. Not great, but buy it anyway, cause it's a cookie don't ya know?




Chocolate - it was good, king of like chocolate ice cream.

I could barely finish it. My appetite isn't what it used to be now that my schedule is all different.



I was finishing up the last few bites...

But holy...what the...?? Barbecue sauce??

I taste BARBECUE SAUCE.

How???



What more can be said?

I'm falling asleep anyway. No more 4 AM cookie blogs. I'm on an unfathomably shockingly awfully exhaustingly early schedule now.




-Jordan

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Fame Diner

Fame Diner on Union Turnpike is one of my favorite diners for a few reasons.

1. Free cookies by the register to grab on your way out.

2. Good jukebox with Violent Femmes first album and also the Pulp Fiction Soundtrack. Something particularly funny would be to play the profanity filled dialogue tracks (interspersed throughout the CD with the music) for every booth to hear.


3. Baked apples. Only diner near me that has them!

4. Far enough away from my house to feel like I'm actually "out."

So the other night me and my friend Dave went..."out"...to Fame diner. For the first time they had Black and White Cookies. I didn't eat the one I bought for several days, so it may have gone a bit stale, which I'll try to keep in mind when reviewing.




Oh my god! While googling Fame Diner for some images I found this review:


horrible diner, dirty,nasty clientle,somebody always arguing with the cashier, who yells. Almost always trash beneath the table.


Wow! I never had this experience at Fame.

So I unwrapped the cookie and bit the vanilla side.




Ah! The cake was more like an actual COOKIE than cake. Could this actually be a real black and white COOKIE? It was a bit tough, (stale?), and tasted just like the free cookies at the register. The vanilla had a bright, tasty flavor, but honestly there was so much cake that it was hard to register.



I bit the chocolate.

Nothing. I taste nothing but cake. I could not describe the chocolate. This was all about the cookie, and the icing was a subtle decoration.

While this may not sound good, I enjoyed the cookie and it tasted better than when the icing is too strong or sugary or thick. It was a bit dry (stale?), and as you can see I had to carve out giant chunks of cake in order to make it through the meal.







IN OTHER BLACK AND WHITE NEWS:

Kelloggs has released Vanilla and Coco Krispies, or "CocoNilla Krispies." For anyone who doesn't know me, I pretty much eat Coco Krispies every day for breakfast and have done so since I was in elementary school. I was excited about this...black and white cookie-like, and a new twist on a huge part of my life.



There's my bird Bob next to the box!

Ehhhhhhh. Basically the vanilla drowns out the chocolatey taste, and the chocolate drowns out the vanilla, and this cereal tastes like nothing. I assumed it would be one of the best cereals I've ever had and I'm extremely disappointed. I'm trying to get through the box so I can go back to my old standard. It seems like it gets soggy really quickly and is nowhere near as addictive as regular Coco Krispies. Sorry everybody!





-Jordan