Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Tragedy Remembered

Hello fans!!

Some of you may be interested to know that I have also been doing a sketch comedy blog, in accordance with National Sketchwriting Month.

The goal is to write 30 comedy sketches in the 30 days of September. I used to be in a comedy troupe (called Cousin Eskimo) but didn't write much for it, and haven't written much comedy officially in my life, but I am very much enjoying this project.

So check it out! Updated just about every day!



Monday, September 07, 2009

Dylan's Candy Bar

Hello everyone.

This cookie entry is from Dylan's Candy Bar, located at 1011 Third Avenue. I tried out this black and white cookie with my friend and roommate Adam Rosenberg, who you may remember from this post a while back.

Hello Adam.

First, a bit about our day leading up to the cookie.

First, we attended a performance by Cynthia Hopkins at Roosevelt Island. Cynthia Hopkins is one of my favorite musicians/songwriters, and this afternoon she mostly played songs from her mind blowingly elaborate trilogy of musicals, Accidental Nostalgia. She danced and laughed and even ran into the audience to hug and dance with people and babies. This was kind of surreal and hilarious, made even more hilarious by the tragic and traumatizing subject matter of the songs, which, after seeing the musicals, you can't help but ignore.

We were late for the show, but it was nice anyway. Roosevelt Island has always been one of my favorite getaways. Me and my friend Matt used to write dumb songs here. It's beautiful, peaceful, and very, very strange. Disturbing. Gothic. Friendly. I remember the first time I walked all the way to the northern tip of the island to check out the lighthouse. "How quaint and delightful!" one might think. Then, as me and my friend Matt approached the plaque to read about it's history, it all became clear: the lighthouse was built by lunatic asylum patients, in order to catch escapees. Not only that, but records are unclear on if one particular patient who worked on it was ONE patient with a split personality, or MULTIPLE people.


This time, me and Adam walked to the SOUTHERN tip of the island, which was equally as unsettling (and beautiful.) At the southern tip are the ruins of the ol' ABANDON SMALLPOX HOSPITAL, built by, you guessed it: lunatic asylum patients. One could Wikipedia the hell out of this information, but here are some pictures found online (I think we were too mystified to whip out the camera ourselves):

Wow again. Then at the very very very southern tip of the island, was a giant piece of...a wall? Strange. We took pictures in front and behind the wall.

By the way, those of you may remember the black and white cookie I had at Roosevelt Island a long while back. You can refresh your memory about that here:


After checking out the new (and only) pizza place on Roosevelt Island (I could just as soon do a pizza blog as well as a cookie blog...), we took the tram to the east side. AUGHH THE TRAM. It was my first time. This happened:

Adam ingeniously had the idea to eat a lot of candy after eating a lot of pizza, so we made our way to Dylan's Candy Bar. Holy wow.

What can I even say? Here are pictures that Adam took.

We went upstairs to the ice cream bar, where they had a flavor called "COFFEE AND DONUTS." Oh god. I wish I tried it. That night I had a dream about trying it (true story.)

I saw a black and white cookie in the display case, and figured I may as well seize the day.

This place was packed with crazy hyper little kids and incredibly anxious parents. It was a really stressful environment and I definitely wanted to leave ASAP, though I was also beginning to feel kind of light headed and exhausted. Maybe walking for hours then eating a lot of candy isn't really good for you. Me and Adam also bought a giant Rice Krispie treat sandwich with caramel in the middle. There it is on the left. We still haven't eaten it yet, but may need a chainsaw to split it down the middle.

Finally, the cookie.

I tried the vanilla side.

You know...I'm sorry to say, but eh. I think Dylan's is great and I plan on visiting again, but black and white cookies may not be their specialty. The icing was so scarce (you can see it doesn't drape over the sides of the cookie as it often does), that I mostly tasted this big stale rough cake under it, and a hint of sugary vanilla on top. I struggled to pin down what I was tasting...it was a bit bland.

Chocolate side.

Essentially the same thing. My mouth was overflowing with cake and rubbery cookie, but wasn't tasting anything. The cake even had an unpleasant burnt taste in some areas.

As you can see, even with Adam's help I could not finish this cookie. The milk however, may have been the best cup of milk I've ever had.

I recommend going to Dylan's for the sheer absurdity of the place, and for the many flavors of gummies, but not for the cookies.

We went home. We watched Superman: The Animated Series all night. I went to bed.


P.S. The google hits for this blog should be very interesting. ABANDONED MENTAL HOSPITAL CANDY SUPERMAN ROSENBERG CYNTHIA HOPKINS MILK.