Thursday, September 27, 2007

Amici 519 8th Avenue

A new day job, and about a ton of new grocery stores, delis, bakeries around where I work to look for Black and White Cookies. On the way to the subway, I stopped into RANDOM DELI-BAKERY-GROCERY-STORE-PLACE-THAT-ALSO-HAS-PIZZA (there's like 100 of them around their) called "Amici" and saw a "brand" (?) of Black and White Cookies. Just shrinkwrapped with a price label on it.




I wonder where these come from? I've always had this sinking feeling that I am unknowingly
reviewing the exact same black and white cookies (when they aren't brand names), like they all pretty much come from the same place.

So I bought this nameless cookie and managed to find time during the week (which is very difficult now) to eat it.


I thought it would be fun to take a tour of my journey to eating cookies!!!!!

First I am sitting in my chair in front of my computer. I get hungry and realize I'm not eating cookies at the moment. Something must be done!

So I go towards my door! So the door hasn't been touched since I was 12 or so. That's a Radioactive Man Meets Bartman poster, with bird poop all over it (my bird sits on top of the door all the time), and also Beavis and Butt-head stickets and Halloween cartoon stickers, an Addams Family bumper sticker, Superman, Batman, Ghost Rider, and Wolverine stickers. On the other side is a Kids in the Hall Braincandy poster, a They Might Be Giants sticker, 2 props from one of my student films (the fake dollar bill and the Knife Job Application), and a penny I scotchtaped to my wall for reasons that are only my own.





Look down the stairs! Inviting? Hey I like this picture.





This leads to the LIVING room. You can see a big comfy chair, and a big comfy TV.




Then I look in the mirror and hate myself. NEXT.



I walk through the dining room to...




THE KITCHEN. Source of both pain and pleasures.


The refridgerizer is opened so I can get some milk. Next to milk is whip cream. Hopefully I won't be too tired and mix up which one I take.




Then I take a glass. Shit, they're all upside down. How am I gonna pour the milk in?




Then I go through the "junk" drawer and take some Oreos and Pretzel Fish, because eating a giant chocolate and vanilla cookie isn't satisfying enough for a disgusting diarrhea factory like myself.



Then I look at myself again and feel sad.



OK so I finally sit down, and I bite the cookie.



Oh my god. I'm not gonna lie, I have 5 different sets of notes from cookies I've eaten for this blog, and I don't remember which one is this cookie. I feel like a slob. This was eaten a week ago. I'm
such a fucking moron.

Ok, I think I found the right piece of paper (i write these notes on scraps of paper) on my floor. Ah, yes, this is the one.

Vanilla -- it tasted weird. Kind of like a butter cookie. Very very buttery and different. Not great, but buy it anyway, cause it's a cookie don't ya know?




Chocolate - it was good, king of like chocolate ice cream.

I could barely finish it. My appetite isn't what it used to be now that my schedule is all different.



I was finishing up the last few bites...

But holy...what the...?? Barbecue sauce??

I taste BARBECUE SAUCE.

How???



What more can be said?

I'm falling asleep anyway. No more 4 AM cookie blogs. I'm on an unfathomably shockingly awfully exhaustingly early schedule now.




-Jordan

16 comments:

Joanna said...

Ahhh! I think I love you.

Jordan said...

You're crazy!

TTQ said...

I don't know how I eneded up here, a link of a link of a link. And Ta-da! Weirdness in a good way so far. Are you one of those people that our mother's warned us not to play with? At least unsupervised anyways.

Cakespy said...

I don't know why but I almost died laughing when I came to the barbecue sauce part.

Jordan said...

Actually I was friends with a lot of people I should not have played with. That's how I became scarred and anxiety ridden.

cakespy: IT REALLY DID TASTE LIKE THAT.


-Jordan

TTQ said...

I feel your pain. I wish those friends were around now to pay for my meds and my therapist.

Tom Cavallaro said...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1930283492704953611&hl=en

2007 Black & White Cookie Eating Championship - it was a tie!

two contestants ate 11 - 5 inch round Black & Whites - nearly 3 pounds eaten in 5 minutes

The above link will show the most consistent and widely available, made by hand and most fun...Black & White Cookie in the Nation.

All The Best,

Tom

love.life.corny.cynicism said...

I just randomly found your blog, and it's kind of making my day already haha :)

Jordan said...

thanks so much! wowee!


-Jordan

Joanna said...

Ahh! IT's been a while. Eat a cookie. And post.

love.life.corny.cynicism said...

I agree... I can't eat cookies cuz of my birthday diet, so I need to live vicariously through you. FYI there's a new cookie company devoted ENTIRELY to black & white cookies (They even have a blueberry and white cookie. Craziness!) in Binghamton. [
https://www.blackandwhitecookies.com/] Maybe you could order a box and let us know what you think! :)

Jordan said...

There's a very special new post coming! WAIT FOR IT.



-Jordan

Joanna said...

I have a mini-crush on Jordan!

Jordan said...

Only a mini? Oh well, can't have everything I guess.

love.life.corny.cynicism said...

Oh my gosh... it's like a budding blog romance. Joanna, please say you're African-American, cuz then you and Josh would make the cutest, most appropriately-colored couple for the blog! :p
And you guys could go out on a date and eat, well obviously black-and-white-cookies, and rate them while you rate EACH OTHER, and then blog about it! Oh my gosh, so excited

Jordan said...

Yes, please say you're african american.


-Jordan