Today's cookie review is from Le Bon Cafe in Penn Station, NYC. Every day when I'm pushed home from work, I take the 5:38 pm train from Penn Station. It's becoming so routine that I recognize all the people that take the very same train.
There's Beardy and Weirdy, a couple (one guy with a really long beard, and a hipster crazy eyed girl who is always with him.)Then there's Cute Girl of Indeterminate age (I can't tell if she's 15 or 20, but she's cute, and she looks like she may not even speak english, or maybe she does?)And then there's big fat guy who is always asleep wearing headphones, presumably a subliminal hypnosis weight loss tape playing. I'm assuming none of these people are aware of this blog.
There's also Jewish Guy Who Is Always On Cellphone. He wears a Yamaka. He's always running onto the train at full speed and looks really stressed out. Probably from having to be Jewish all the time (I'm only Jewish like once a year, and lately not even.)
And last but not least is Unbelievably Hot Girl. OK, I only saw her once, but she's worth a mention. I literally did a double take as I stood up from my seat to leave and saw her. She looked like she came from another dimension. Why does she even need a train? I always imagine people who are that hot don't need to be transported, they can somehow just appear wherever they want.Well anyway, I went into a little place called Le Bon Cafe, and saw they had shrinkwrapped black and white cookies. For those who don't know German, Le means "His", Bon means "ugly", and "Cafe" means "butt." Despite the name, the cookies looked good, and they felt soft and fresh.I had left the cookie in my cookiebag (or, my "bookbag") for 2 days, and in the process it became smushed, the vanilla icing being lifted off the cake and sticking to the wrapping. HOWEVER, this was entirely different than the last cookie I ate, who's rock hard icing I was able to pop off the cake like a lid on a pringles can. This new cookie's icing came off because it was moist, vulnerable and sticky (JUST HOW I LIKE EM, WINK WINK!)
I plopped myself down and checked this shit out.
Mmmmm. The vanilla side was very good, just as I figured it would be. I was able to peel it off the wrapping and slap it back on the cookie. It was chewy and had a real natural vanilla taste, not too sugary.
WATCH OUT! HERE I COME!
Sorry about that, everybody.
Then I tried the chocolate side.
Pretty much the same. Very good and fresh, chewy. I enjoyed eating it more than the vanilla side.
You can tell from this picture that the chocolate was very fudgey.
My only criticism is that the cake was virtually tasteless. I tried eating some of it by itself and it had no discernible flavor, unlike some of the strong lemony flavors I'd taste in other cookies. It was still decent, but a really strong cake flavor would have put this cookie OVER THE TOP! OVER THE TOP, JERRY!
That's actually a picture of me draining milk INTO the glass. I don't know where it comes from.
-Jordan
Hello Cookie Crew!
Union Turnpike. This rounded corner that merges Kew Gardens road into Queens Blvd is where I've emerged from the F and E train most of my life. I definitely have a love/hate relationship with this particular area. Some days I'm so sick of it, I never want to come out of that subway again. But it's hard to not be nostalgic, though is it possible to be nostalgic for something I still pass by every single day?One of the less consistent things about this area has been what business actually takes shop on this corner. For a long time it was a Nathan's. Then a few years ago it became a "Hot and Tasty" bakery, with pizza I have no interest in trying, as an incredibly great pizza place (La Rondine) is only a few feet away. Besides my theory is, if pizza isn't a place's primary concern or reason for being (i.e. a bakery also having some pizza too if people want it maybe!) then it can't be too good.
I took a drive over to buy a black and white cookie.Check me out in my car. I'm an adult.
Here was their display.
And look, some cute chocolate rats!
It's funny for a city to chocolatize it's flaws, like it's rat problem. Let's see some chocolate bad traffic too! And chocolate homeless. FREAKIN' CHOCOLATE GULIANI!
So I wasn't able to eat the cookie until a few hous later, and it wasn't shrinkwrapped or anything. I'm not sure if it became stale or was ALREADY stale, but when I bit into it, it was....INCREDIBLY STALE. Rock hard and completely and wholeheartedly unpleasant.
NO COMMENT.
I bit into the vanilla. The vanilla icing FELL OFF in my mouth. You hear me? Is anybody listening to this? The vanilla actually SEPARATED from the cookie in my mouth, as if they were just barely hanging on to each other in the first place.
It was good though. The vanilla. Kind of sugary and "nice" as I wrote in my notes (it's been a few days since eating, I'm sorry but my memory isn't so good right now.) The actual cake was pretty crappy but I enjoyed peeling off the vanilla and eating it.
Next I tried the chocolate. It managed to hang together with the cookie but it wasn't very good. It tasted like really cheap chocolate. Like Choczel's brand chocolate.
Like when you buy some really cheap weird brand of candy you've never seen before, and at first bite it tastes good, then after a few bites you go "ohhh, now I see. This sucks."
Something that MAY be of interest is that the vanilla icing actually had chocolate icing UNDER it. aaaaaaHA!!! I was already suspicious when the vanilla fell right off, but it seems that it was actually hiding what may have been a FULLY CHOCOLATE COOKIE that had some vanilla slopped on top of it like a cheap paint job on a shitty car.
As you can see, I could barely finish this thing. I don't know if the cookies are always stale and crappy or if I had some bad luck.
Actually I would bet most of the cookies I review probably taste wildly different from night to night. But that would imply this blog is a completely useless waste of time, and of course, that would be crazy!??
Well I've gotta go not go to sleep, then wake up exhausted, then be tired all day at work, then come home, and not go to sleep again, and etc, etc.
-Jordan
I've been very busy with work, and have not had the luxury to go out of my way to find new cookies.Not that I haven't checked -- every time I pass a grocery store I look in to see if there is a brand I haven't reviewed yet. EVERY time. And every time I see Joey's, Allison's Entenmann's, Muffins n' Stuff, etc, etc. All the brands I've already done.Currently I am incredibly sick with some sort of cold and haven't left my house.I promise I WILL update this blog soon, when I have ONE GOD DAMN SECOND.Ok bye bye!
-Jordan
