Apologies, and Promisees

To my several billion loyal readers:

I very much apologize for not updating this blog as much as I, or you would like. I truly want to, but the truth is, I am very, very lazy. I am lazy, and stupid. I am lazy, stupid, and indifferent, and maybe not as hungry. My early-to-bed, early-to-rise work schedule kills my junk food appetite that I had when I first started.

Picture this: I go into a store. I see they have a Black and White Cookie brand I have yet to review. I buy it. It sits in my kitchen FOR WEEKS. I want to eat it, but I think "Ugh...I can't JUST EAT IT. I have to do WORK when I eat it."

I have a garbage full of stale Black and White Cookies. This is unacceptable, and maybe borderline psychosis.

I feel a bit inspired lately (I was re-reading some old posts. Ah, I was so young!) and I promise you I will update this more often! This blog is the closest thing I have to a successful project, as my music and film careers float like ghosts through an oblivious world. T

hank you, and goodnight. It is 4 AM. Check back soon, and I love you deeply. DEEP deeply.




-Jordan Adam Cooper, 2008.

CAKE TIME!!!

IT'S A BLACK AND WHITE CAKE!

I went to the SUPERMARKET as my friend's Adam and Jon went food shopping for their apartment! THAT'S LIFE IN THE BIG CITY, FOLKS!

Then we stumbled upon this little number!



GIMME GIMME GIMME.



It rained like a motherfucker while we were in the supermarket. We ran back and I got drenched. So I changed into my friends clothes. Check out my dignified attire:



You know I never liked Ninja Turtles? Especially as a little kid. I hated the way they talked - "Radical!" "Narly!", etc. Even as like a 10 year old I thought they sounded retarded

This is Adam! Adam Rosenberg! Take that, google searchers trying to stalk him!







I guess the only way to cut pieces (besides grabbing clumps with my disgusting veiny hand) where you get both sides is to do weird long thin biscotti-looking slivers. So there you go.



I ate the cake. Honestly, it was just "OK." I could have predicted it wouldn't exactly taste like a black and white cookie, which is ironic since a black and white cookie is really more like a cake. But this cake was just like...an OK, store bought cake. Also when we actually ate it was like 2 or 3 weeks later. WOOPS. I wasn't crazy about either the vanilla or chocolate icing. They weren't bad but after a few bites I was pretty much done. P.S. I hate blogger and how it keeps undoing my font selection every other sentence.



I also wasn't crazy about eating cake with a spoon. Too weird.



Wearing a much more dignified shirt (Homer Simpson jumping to grab a donut, with "JUST DONUT" written on the bottom.)


-Jordan

La Dolce Italia 2

Last winter......


BA BUMP



In the small town of Forest Hills...



BA BA BUMP



At a store called La Dolce Italia...



CRA-KOWWWW (lightning)



A young man by the...


BA BA BA BA BA BUMP!!


...name of Jordan Cooper went on a quest



BABABABABABABABABSBDBDHDBDBDHD BUMP



For the ultimate Black and White Cookie.


FLASH




SILENCE.......


.......


Now, out of the ashes arrives...


LA DOLCE ITALIA 2!!!





STARRING








Not long ago, La Dolce Italia 2 opened up literally right around the corner from me, here in Kew Gardens. It appeared in a pretty badly received "death spot" -- businesses seem to open up and close down there within a few months. I can't even recall how many different stores, cafes, groceries, etc, have been in that very location.

Best of luck to La Dolce Italia 2 however, because this is ONE sequel that's just as good as the original!!!!! YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN??

I brought the cookie home for an unusually timed snack, around 7pm where dinner normally takes place (I ended up not being hungry for dinner till around 11:00 pm.)

Compared to the original La Dolce Italia, this cookie was a LOT smaller. Meaning it was about average size, since the first Dolce cookie was humongous. "Humongous" is a word I haven't heard or spoken in a long time, what happened to that word???

One thing I noticed early on is that the chocolate icing was PITCH BLACKNESS. A little intimidating. Like the woods at night. Do I dare enter?



I also noticed right away from removing the cookie out of it's little paper wrap that the icing was STICKY AND GOOEY AND FRESH. No rock hard icing that feels like it was drilled onto the cake by a construction crew. This actually felt like it was spread over the cake like...icing!

I took a bite of the vanilla.




VERY good and very flavorful. I did not recall upon looking back that in my original La Dolce post, I complained about the lemony cake overpowering the vanilla to the point that I couldn't even taste it. While the lemon is indeed still very strong, this time I could taste the vanilla loud and clear, and with how soft and delicious it was, I could have eaten 20 all-vanilla cookies.

Then I tried the chocolate.




Pretty much equally as good. Extremely soft, tasted almost like chocolate cupcake icing. The lemon in the cake was almost a bit too strong and creating a weird battle of tastes, but overall it was one of the most satisfying (cookie related) experiences I've had yet.



I finished the rest of the cookie EXTREMELY fast. I should have bought two.

See you again when La Dolce Italia 3 comes out. Hopefully it won't be awful and ruin the franchise!!



-Jordan

Sidenote: There was a lot of plastic forks and spoons on the sidewalk. Why?

Sweet City - CANCELLED!

I waited too long.



The already-stale cookie became more stale.




I threw the cookie away.












Maybe next time.




-Jordan

Primo! Cappuccino

Hiya hos and bros. This week's cookie (I know this blog is anything but "weekly"), is from yet another food-getting-place (not sure of the term) in Penn Station on my way home from work. Primo! Cappuccino.

Again it was a black and white cookie in labeless shrinkwrapped plastic, and the thought has occurred to me that this may just be the exact same brand of cookie as the one I had last week, distributed to all these places in Penn Station in one big swoop.

I sat down to watch Alien 3. I had never seen any of the Alien movies and recently made it a point to watch them all in order. The first film, "Alien," is probably the most unique (naturally) and literally other worldly feeling. It wasn't at all what I expected, being a very slow paced, subtle and effective mood piece. "Aliens" ended up as what I originally imagined for the first film, being action driven, more "macho" and fast paced. As I'm thinking of both films now though, I can barely remember "Aliens" and remember almost everything about "Alien."




I liked both movies, though "Aliens" had incredibly annoying characters. Mainly Bill Paxton. "OH MAN!! WE'RE FUCKED, MAN! THIS IS IT, MAN!" Plus, the tough military chick who's got somethin' to prove! I liked Lance Henrickson, pretty much perfectly cast as a morally ambiguous robot.



Soooo I watched Alien 3. I liked it, though after reading that David Fincher "disowns" it, maybe I'm not supposed to? How does one approach a movie after knowing that? I suppose you can choose to completely strip away all context, all IMDB trivia, all back story, and just watch the movie as it's own universe. It's not easy though, knowing the scene you're watching was against the director's wishes, or the killing of major characters were only due to actor's availability. Should these fun factoids be ignored?



Well, I liked the movie. I thought the supporting characters this go around were more interesting, and I was fascinated by the wealth of back story designated to this strange prison planet (was the WHOLE planet a prison? Or just this one building?) I also liked that in THIS movie, the Alien was a hybrid dog/alien. Cool.

Oh yeah, the COOKIE.





I can't explain what it is, but I always have a thing for cookies that have that sexy little strand of hair going down on it's face. It's hot.


The cookie had sat around for days, but was still soft. Way to go! I'm proud of you.

I bit the vanilla side.




Not great. Very strong and sugary, a bit tough. It proved to be difficult to finish the vanilla side.


Then I tried the chocolate.


Very soft, very dark tasting. A bit fudgey. I would even say "YUMMY" if I was forced to.

The vanilla and chocolate together worked great, and made the vanilla taste better for some reason.





The cake smelled like Wonder Bread.




Dear Diary, today I put milk on my head and took a picture of myself at 2 AM because I am lonely.


-Jordan