This is a story about a boy cookie named Joey, from North Newark, New Jersey, and a girl cookie named Allison, from Brooklyn. Both found each other in a deli, on 20th street and 7th avenue.
Joey was a smooth man with the ladies. His catchphrase - "LUV IN EVERY BITE" may have been a bit presumptuous, but Allison needed a bit of excitement in her life. Maybe this Joey is just what she was looking for?
Allison was soft. But not very sweet. She had two sides to her, sure, like everybody. Her light side, which was adequate and pleasant, and her DARK side, which strangely had not much going on for it at all. Underneath these sides was...cake. This cake was the best part of Allison. It tasted like fresh homemade cake, or cupcakes. This was something Joey could not realize.
Joey was HARD. HARD AS A ROCK. TOUGH. A REAL MAN. He also had 2 sides to him. His light side was WEIRD, had a soapy, or fruity taste to it. VERY strange. Very tiring to swallow. Allison could barely tolerate it. But Joey was a strange cookie. His dark side however...WATCH OUT. Intensely chocolatey. Yeah, you heard me. Like a brownie. Much stronger and much more confident than Allison's dark side.
The two cookies fell in love. THEY KISSED.
They were completely different, but so much alike.
They went to amusement parks, watched movies, argued over where to eat for dinner, all the great things couples do. Why, they even made love. Somehow.
Soon, Allison seemed...distant.
Allison got tired of Jordan...I mean...Joey's drifting, aimless existence, and went on to look for something more. She was too soft for such a hard, emotionless cookie.
But this is the misconception. While Allison was soft, she was tasteless. She had no real emotion. That's why she could leave him so easily. Joey was hard on the outside, but had a STRONG STRONG flavor inside. Now he was all alone. Chewed up. Hopeless.
"Joey stepped up on a block of ice,
put a rope around his neck,
fell asleep before he died" - martin tielli
And so, painfully alone, with no purpose in life, Joey gave up.
And me? Well I chill-axed with a glass of milk, yo. Everything was aaaaall good.
P.S. Thanks to Rachel Kramer Bussel for linking to this blog! Check out her various blogs about cupcakes, sex, and possibly some sort of combination of the two.